My Dad farted on my face.

mysterious_w · 18th December 2004, 12:03

Generally, we are a pretty loose family when it comes to rear-bound wind. Many of our family joy comes in letting of a good one while washing the pots.

But my dad took it too far.

Last night, sitting at home, happily watching TV, when my Dad walks up, sticks his arse right in my face and:

phrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttt.

Too far dad, too far. I am now plotting my revenge.

missyob · 18th December 2004, 12:04

I always thought you had problems hon, now I know why

~ Missy

Raz · 18th December 2004, 12:29

You actually felt the need to come tell us all that? Wow.

mysterious_w · 18th December 2004, 12:56

The man in the white coat said that the pretty sweeties and pointy needles I take mean I have no sense of shame.

Germ · 18th December 2004, 13:05

this thread rules

nybergh · 18th December 2004, 13:54

I've sort of been there and done everything described in this thread.... I'm lactose intolerant

Wolfgang · 18th December 2004, 14:18

I sat on my brother's face and farted once. I think it's the most disgusting thing I've ever done.

MidnightViper88 · 18th December 2004, 15:01

I fart in your general direction

ShyShy · 18th December 2004, 17:17

My brother used to fart on my face as kids. And flick his boogers at me.

But, oh how I finally got my revenge...

ElChevelle · 18th December 2004, 20:04

I farted in someone's face once.

deeder7001 · 18th December 2004, 20:08

once, me and my family were at a target and my dad farted and my sister sniffed at his butt. it was funny.

ElChevelle · 18th December 2004, 20:17

You know what's funny is that when someone farts, the very first thing other's do is smell it.......REGARDLESS.

mark · 18th December 2004, 20:18

i feel the need to make my presence known in this thread, but have nothing to contribute.

anyone else sniff their own farts?

deeder7001 · 18th December 2004, 20:20

i don't. i've heard that my farts can be pretty bad.

ElChevelle · 18th December 2004, 20:21

I sniff.
The sense of smell needs to be traumatized just like all other senses.

MidnightViper88 · 18th December 2004, 21:29

I have to find out if my fart will be lethal to another...

shakey_snake · 18th December 2004, 21:52

Lock your dad in a non-ventalated room with a Gasey Dog.
That'll teach him.

papadoc · 18th December 2004, 23:04

My dad always had me do this

ElChevelle · 18th December 2004, 23:07

This dad has his son pull his whole hand for that special Nagasaki blast.

papadoc · 18th December 2004, 23:14

Bilbo Baggins · 19th December 2004, 00:46

I always think it would be funny if you farted on someone, and accidentally follow through.

deeder7001 · 19th December 2004, 00:56

some of my friends were planning on wetting themselves at a video store once. never did go through with that though, didn't want to have the car smell like pee.

Psythik · 19th December 2004, 01:11

Ever try farting out a Christmas song?

toqer · 19th December 2004, 01:21

I used to have a kitten named baby when I was 14. All the time, I would fart in her face. My grandma would tell me how mean that was.

One day I was sitting there watching TV with my grandma. My kitten baby starts running around the house from kitten spurts. She ran left in front of me, then right, then she ran right up on my chest, turned around, let out a stinker and ran off. My grandma and I were laughing so hard we nearly cried.

Psythik · 19th December 2004, 01:33

LOL, good story, t0qer.

MaTTFURY · 19th December 2004, 02:21

"wet or dry...."

most people dont know what to say

ElChevelle · 19th December 2004, 03:12

Quote:

Originally posted by t0qer
I used to have a kitten named baby when I was 14. All the time, I would fart in her face. My grandma would tell me how mean that was.

One day I was sitting there watching TV with my grandma. My kitten baby starts running around the house from kitten spurts. She ran left in front of me, then right, then she ran right up on my chest, turned around, let out a stinker and ran off. My grandma and I were laughing so hard we nearly cried.

An instance strikingly similar to this one made me swear off mind altering drugs once and for all.

missyob · 19th December 2004, 04:35

Quote:

Originally posted by papadoc
My dad always had me do this

That was tooooooooooo funny. My grandfather did the same thing to me

~ Missy

Timbaland · 19th December 2004, 04:46

LOL was it yokozuna style or was there distance?

MaTTFURY · 19th December 2004, 05:48

just do a kamikaze on him

squakMix · 19th December 2004, 06:31

Quote:

Originally posted by mysterious_w

Too far dad, too far. I am now plotting my revenge.

shit in his mouth while he sleeps.

That'l teach him

hgnis · 19th December 2004, 06:36

A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I was learning the way of the force. In the process of falling asleep while pretending to be studing, another recruit took it upon himself to teach me the way of the said force. Fortunately I opened my eyes just in time to see a dropped pants and managed to avoid the oncoming onslaught. Unfortunately the book I placed in from of me ended up being contaminated by the dark side. (Yes folks it was quite nasty, especially since he had to clean the book that was shat on.)

squakMix · 19th December 2004, 06:37

What the fuck!?

whiteflip · 19th December 2004, 09:26

My sister pissed me off once so I ate a lot of chilli with hot sauce and lots of orange juice and aspargus. Then I pinned her sat on her face and let it fly. She couldn't get off the floor. I don't remember what she did to piss me off though.

yenerich · 19th December 2004, 17:17

very nice discussion %)

MidnightViper88 · 19th December 2004, 17:20

The rest of the civil world would cower in jealousy if they saw us...

Sir_Ed · 19th December 2004, 19:13

Farting is a very important sign of affection in my girlfriend's direct family.
Somehow the tradition has managed to penetrate into our own house and sometimes I wonder why I still bother waking up in the morning.

EDITED IN:
The worst of it all is that I felt the need to post it in this thread.

MaTTFURY · 20th December 2004, 02:00

please lock this thread??? its getting utterly freakie and people are showing there insane mental problems... (im scared)

Timbaland · 20th December 2004, 02:15

Quote:

please lock this thread??? its getting utterly freakie and people are showing there insane mental problems... (im scared)

I dont see a sock, so can someone help me unzip my fly for him? Its stuck..

I love the poop and fart threads, especially the ones where everyone shares thier shitting the pants storys.

MaTTFURY · 20th December 2004, 02:43

...im scaredest

18th December 2004, 12:03	#1
mysterious_w Forum King Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Good ol' Britain Posts: 2,750	My Dad farted on my face. Generally, we are a pretty loose family when it comes to rear-bound wind. Many of our family joy comes in letting of a good one while washing the pots. But my dad took it too far. Last night, sitting at home, happily watching TV, when my Dad walks up, sticks his arse right in my face and: phrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttt. Too far dad, too far. I am now plotting my revenge.

18th December 2004, 13:54	#6
nybergh Dialup Junkie (Major Dude) Join Date: May 2003 Location: Helsinki, Finland Posts: 1,220	I've sort of been there and done everything described in this thread.... I'm lactose intolerant i do not give facebook permission to print anything off my computer

18th December 2004, 15:01	#8
MidnightViper88 Made In The USA (Forum King) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The 502 Posts: 9,100	I fart in your general direction "I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors "Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz

18th December 2004, 20:08	#11
deeder7001 Jesus Freak (Forum King) Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Tempe, AZ Posts: 5,562	once, me and my family were at a target and my dad farted and my sister sniffed at his butt. it was funny. There is no sig.

18th December 2004, 20:20	#14
deeder7001 Jesus Freak (Forum King) Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Tempe, AZ Posts: 5,562	i don't. i've heard that my farts can be pretty bad. There is no sig.

18th December 2004, 12:04	#2
missyob Angel of Winamp Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: The Winamp House Posts: 4,577	I always thought you had problems hon, now I know why ~ Missy

18th December 2004, 12:29	#3
Raz Forum King Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Manchester Posts: 6,469	You actually felt the need to come tell us all that? Wow.

18th December 2004, 12:56	#4
mysterious_w Forum King Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Good ol' Britain Posts: 2,750	The man in the white coat said that the pretty sweeties and pointy needles I take mean I have no sense of shame.

18th December 2004, 13:05	#5
Germ rules all things Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 3,148	this thread rules

18th December 2004, 14:18	#7
Wolfgang Forum King Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 3,069	I sat on my brother's face and farted once. I think it's the most disgusting thing I've ever done.

18th December 2004, 17:17	#9
ShyShy Amazon Bush Woman Forum Queen Join Date: May 2003 Location: The Sticks, Queensland Posts: 8,068	My brother used to fart on my face as kids. And flick his boogers at me. But, oh how I finally got my revenge...

18th December 2004, 20:04	#10
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,443	I farted in someone's face once.

18th December 2004, 20:17	#12
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,443	You know what's funny is that when someone farts, the very first thing other's do is smell it.......REGARDLESS.

18th December 2004, 20:18	#13
mark Forum King Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Norn Ir'nd, leek... Posts: 6,285	i feel the need to make my presence known in this thread, but have nothing to contribute. anyone else sniff their own farts?

18th December 2004, 20:21	#15
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,443	I sniff. The sense of smell needs to be traumatized just like all other senses.

18th December 2004, 21:29	#16
MidnightViper88 Made In The USA (Forum King) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The 502 Posts: 9,100	I have to find out if my fart will be lethal to another... "I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors "Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz

18th December 2004, 21:52	#17
shakey_snake Forum Domo Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: Everyone, get over here for the picture! Posts: 4,313	Lock your dad in a non-ventalated room with a Gasey Dog. That'll teach him. elevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladylevitateme

18th December 2004, 23:04	#18
papadoc Comfortably Numb (Forum King) Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 4,619	My dad always had me do this

18th December 2004, 23:07	#19
ElChevelle Moderator Alumni Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: the MANCANNON! Posts: 22,443	This dad has his son pull his whole hand for that special Nagasaki blast.

18th December 2004, 23:14	#20
papadoc Comfortably Numb (Forum King) Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 4,619

19th December 2004, 00:46	#21
Bilbo Baggins Wind Chime of the Apocalypse Join Date: May 2000 Location: The Forest Posts: 17,226	I always think it would be funny if you farted on someone, and accidentally follow through.

19th December 2004, 00:56	#22
deeder7001 Jesus Freak (Forum King) Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Tempe, AZ Posts: 5,562	some of my friends were planning on wetting themselves at a video store once. never did go through with that though, didn't want to have the car smell like pee. There is no sig.

19th December 2004, 01:11	#23
Psythik Got his CT back and didn't pay $10 (Forum King) Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,583	Ever try farting out a Christmas song? This is a sig of some nature. Last edited by Psythik; 19th December 2004 at 01:32.

19th December 2004, 01:21	#24
toqer Winamp's Little Stalker (Member) Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: under a bridge Posts: 797	I used to have a kitten named baby when I was 14. All the time, I would fart in her face. My grandma would tell me how mean that was. One day I was sitting there watching TV with my grandma. My kitten baby starts running around the house from kitten spurts. She ran left in front of me, then right, then she ran right up on my chest, turned around, let out a stinker and ran off. My grandma and I were laughing so hard we nearly cried. Winamps Only Karaoke TV station, Live from the 7 Bamboo in San Jose California

19th December 2004, 01:33	#25
Psythik Got his CT back and didn't pay $10 (Forum King) Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Phoenix, AZ Posts: 3,583	LOL, good story, t0qer. This is a sig of some nature.

19th December 2004, 02:21	#26
MaTTFURY Major Dude Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Australia, Posts: 1,356	"wet or dry...." most people dont know what to say i am not normal, no really.

19th December 2004, 04:46	#29
Timbaland Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Underground Posts: 328	LOL was it yokozuna style or was there distance? Deviant Art Suburbia Films

19th December 2004, 05:48	#30
MaTTFURY Major Dude Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Australia, Posts: 1,356	just do a kamikaze on him i am not normal, no really.

19th December 2004, 06:36	#32
hgnis Hobbit Humper Forum King Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: banned camp Posts: 4,124	A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I was learning the way of the force. In the process of falling asleep while pretending to be studing, another recruit took it upon himself to teach me the way of the said force. Fortunately I opened my eyes just in time to see a dropped pants and managed to avoid the oncoming onslaught. Unfortunately the book I placed in from of me ended up being contaminated by the dark side. (Yes folks it was quite nasty, especially since he had to clean the book that was shat on.) I am so important I feel the need to let it be known like a liberal discovering the internets for the first time. Uh hur hur hur. I also wash myself with a rag on a stick. Reality bites <3

19th December 2004, 06:37	#33
squakMix wwwyzzerdd (Forum King) Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 3,455	What the fuck!? Check out my music

19th December 2004, 09:26	#34
whiteflip Post Master General (Forum King) Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Seattle, Now Las Vegas Posts: 6,028	My sister pissed me off once so I ate a lot of chilli with hot sauce and lots of orange juice and aspargus. Then I pinned her sat on her face and let it fly. She couldn't get off the floor. I don't remember what she did to piss me off though. I'm Back?

19th December 2004, 17:17	#35
yenerich Banned Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 295	very nice discussion %)

19th December 2004, 17:20	#36
MidnightViper88 Made In The USA (Forum King) Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: The 502 Posts: 9,100	The rest of the civil world would cower in jealousy if they saw us... "I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors "Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz

19th December 2004, 19:13	#37
Sir_Ed Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Hillywood, Holland. Posts: 252	Farting is a very important sign of affection in my girlfriend's direct family. Somehow the tradition has managed to penetrate into our own house and sometimes I wonder why I still bother waking up in the morning. EDITED IN: The worst of it all is that I felt the need to post it in this thread. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." - Jack Nicholson

20th December 2004, 02:00	#38
MaTTFURY Major Dude Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Australia, Posts: 1,356	please lock this thread??? its getting utterly freakie and people are showing there insane mental problems... (im scared) i am not normal, no really.