Old 20th September 2003, 04:08   #1
dlinkwit27
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Man Breaks Masturbation Record

http://nisse.hellberg.swellserver.co...orldrecord.php

Quote:
It's official, Nisse Hellberg is the new king of masturbation. In a stunning feat of endurance and determination, Nisse Hellberg achieved 36 orgasms in a 24 hour period!

Sleeping intermittently during the 24 hour marathon, Nisse Hellberg remained focused and aroused by his impressive library of pornographic films. With over 400 films in his library and 3 televisions playing movies at all times, he had a continuous stream of footage to aid him in his quest.

It is apparent by the massive development of the muscles in his forearm that Nisse Hellberg is not your average masturbator. In an interview with UJ reporters after the record setting event, Nisse Hellberg was quoted as saying, "masturbation for me is a way of life. I've been training for this day since I was 13 years old and I'm happy with my performance today".

This record was formerly held by German Student, Hans Blickstein who achieved 27 orgasms in a 24 hour period. Mr. Blickstein was not available for comment.

When asked what his next world record achievement would be, Nisse Hellberg said "my immediate goal is to get a bag of ice and some lotion on my penis to soothe the burning".

fake, but funny
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Old 20th September 2003, 04:14   #2
godoncrack
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what
THAT'S the record........i'd compete
and win
of course
but thats not a title i really want
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Old 20th September 2003, 04:55   #3
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lol, that's pretty funny. Hand must have gotten really tired..O_O
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Old 20th September 2003, 19:41   #4
Shenlong
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Oh, so it's fake...If weren't, I would be like "Dammit!" ...


A very close Japanese friend I knew a while ago once said to me "Watashi no koto wo oboeta, onegai shimasu...Yakusoku?"

I forgot his name though...
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Old 20th September 2003, 22:46   #5
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My personal record is 3.

Damn if that article was real I would be so dissapointed.
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Old 21st September 2003, 00:36   #6
ShyShy
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"achieved 36 orgasms in a 24 hour period!"


*if article were real*

Damn! And I thought I was a hornball
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Old 21st September 2003, 02:02   #7
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thats nothing
during the seventies
some scientists got some woman to orgasim 39 times just to see if they could do
their research notes are available upon request
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Old 21st September 2003, 04:24   #8
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That's nothing compared to the record of constricting the anus 100 times.

The smiley slot machine! | Quotable Blog
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Old 21st September 2003, 05:34   #9
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Umm.... odd..... and why would I want to constrict my anus 100 times a day? It already is all nice and constricted....
As for the joke, damn nice.
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Old 21st September 2003, 14:18   #10
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ha. i thought the record would be 100 or sumthin

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway.
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Old 22nd September 2003, 00:08   #11
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Quote:
Nisse Hellberg
Damn, I was hoping it was s1138.


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Old 22nd September 2003, 03:24   #12
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Quote:
Reviewer: An Amazon.com Customer
I have practiced this many many months during my interrment in Guantanamo Bay. Thank you Hiroyuki for giving me the strength to resist my amorous cellmates! I highly recommend this to my fellow prisoners throughout the world.
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Old 22nd September 2003, 08:24   #13
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Hmmm... I wonder if he trained for that. Probably did. And what do you eat before that, I wonder?

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Old 22nd September 2003, 13:58   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Merlin
Damn, I was hoping it was s1138.
nope my personal record is only 12....

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Old 22nd September 2003, 19:18   #15
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Quote:
masturbation for me is a way of life. I've been training for this day since I was 13 years old and I'm happy with my performance today
Wow. Just - Wow.

Freedom of speech is the basic freedom of humanity. When you've lost that, you've lost everything.
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Old 22nd September 2003, 20:10   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by s1138
nope my personal record is only 12....

I beat you, I beat you! Oops, did I just admit to that?
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Old 22nd September 2003, 22:05   #17
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Looks like you both beat yourselves...
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Old 22nd September 2003, 23:02   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by ShyShy
I beat you, I beat you! Oops, did I just admit to that?
but i did have school that day...and i did get 8hrs of sleep......

and i didnt do it while sleeping, or while i was at school

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Old 23rd September 2003, 09:43   #19
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i actually tried this once. see how many i can get in a 24 hour period. im not gonna disclose the number.

I'm Back?
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Old 28th September 2003, 05:41   #20
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Hahaha... So funny! I tried it at school once! Not a good idea! Almost got caught by some guy
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Old 28th September 2003, 22:47   #21
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not one man stands among you who could smash my digits
when won is without, won must still get off
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Old 28th September 2003, 22:54   #22
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Best place I did it was outside. That was great fun.
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Old 28th September 2003, 23:25   #23
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i did it in mcdonalds once.....

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Old 29th September 2003, 00:33   #24
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Haha, no shit? At a booth or what?


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Old 29th September 2003, 01:21   #25
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Quote:
Originally posted by sexycanadian
Hahaha... So funny! I tried it at school once! Not a good idea! Almost got caught by some guy
i did that, didn't get caught. I had to lose a tenth of a pound to make weight fora wrestlgin meet, and i had already spit, pissed, and sweat all the liquid i possibly could outa me, so that was my last resort. Needeless to say, I made weight. Two tenths under if I can recall correctly....
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