Old 18th August 2004, 08:31   #1
will
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Ask will

Well, in the spirit of ask xzxzzx, Im gonna open an ask will thread with the purpose of trying to answer any questions you guys might have when it comes to cheese, as it seems there are many cheese haters. So here we can centrally locate these types of things, to keep them out of other parts of the forum (as some have express the wanting to).

Thread rules:
1. absolutely no flaming I will not respond to any post containing any insults and name calling.

2. Please post you questions as consisely as posible.

3. I won't argue my stance on biscuits. Lets keep this discussion free from biscuits. Biscuits and cheese may go together, but thats besides the point. I will label such matters with a (your mother) tag.

My Background:
Why do I consider myself worthy of creating such a thread?

I eat a lot of cheese. Not as much as cheesychops, however I am just plain better than him.

Let the Games begin!

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Old 18th August 2004, 08:34   #2
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Will, is cock cheese safe to eat?
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Old 18th August 2004, 08:35   #3
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No.

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Old 18th August 2004, 08:35   #4
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Is "American Cheese" (or more appropriately "American Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food") considered to be real cheese by cheese purists?

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Old 18th August 2004, 08:36   #5
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Cheesecake, real cheese or simply cashing in on the cheese craze?
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Old 18th August 2004, 08:36   #6
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Is there anything dangerous about eating 3 cans of Cheez-Whiz a day?

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I stayed for the ballbag.
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Old 18th August 2004, 08:40   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by drewbar
Is "American Cheese" (or more appropriately "American Pasteurized Processed Cheese Food") considered to be real cheese by cheese purists?
American cheese (or as it is known outside of america, processed cheese slices) are clearly labeled on the packet as "Processed Cheese Food Slices"

However, whilst techinally being cheese, the french would certainly not touch american cheese with a barge-pole. Being as it is, fatty, fake and processed. Convieniently matching its name.

I think what you must ask youself is "Would you see this at a french mans table?" To which the answer is no.

Therefore, it is a member of the cheese under-class.

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Old 18th August 2004, 08:46   #8
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It also feels like plastic still when poked while slightly melted.

Why do mozzarella cheese curds work so much better on poutine than normal mozzarella?

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Old 18th August 2004, 08:49   #9
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Is everything is better with cheddar?

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Old 18th August 2004, 08:55   #10
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Which is better, sheeps milk or cows milk Wenslydale?

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Old 18th August 2004, 09:16   #11
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Jones: Just cashing in.
d0rk: yes, it makes you a fat ass.
MStar: Because of higher acid content.
drewbar: Not everything. For example, pudding.
lostonline: Cows. Sheep/goat milk tasts like the way sheep/goats smell. Disgusting.

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Old 18th August 2004, 09:54   #12
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What kind of cheese is the moon really made out of?
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Old 18th August 2004, 09:59   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mr Jones
What kind of cheese is the moon really made out of?
Normally edam, but one in a blue moon, you'll see roquefort. (ha ha)

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Old 18th August 2004, 10:05   #14
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Branston or Piccalilli ?
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Old 18th August 2004, 10:11   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mr Jones
Branston or Piccalilli ?
(your mother)

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Old 18th August 2004, 10:24   #16
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Excuse me?
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Old 18th August 2004, 10:27   #17
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Like biscuits, pickles are non-cheese related, hence get a (your mother) tag. See rule 3.

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Old 18th August 2004, 10:31   #18
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Course they are releated, the cracker, biscuit, wine, grapes and assorted pickles are the perfect bed partners of many a cheese product, hence my question.


Or are you telling me you never eat your cheese with anything?, cheese sarnies in your house must be hella poor without the aid of some bread, butter and choice of condiment.

Take your rule 3 and stick it where the cheese don't curdle

Rules are meant to be broken, God says so
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Old 18th August 2004, 10:36   #19
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But if you insist, I shall withdraw my previous question and pose a new one...

I have a mouse that lives in my garage, I have selection of cheeses in my fridge, which do you think would be best to feed him with.
I have...
Red Leicester
Port Salut
A block of Danish Blue
Or some Dairylee triangles

I'm thinking about ease of eating for the little fella and nutritional value for him
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Old 18th August 2004, 10:37   #20
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I shall answer your question, but I'll leave my (your mother) tag in place.

I don't like any form of pickles. I eat my cheese either on bread (with butter), in a cheeseburger or on a cream cracker (also with butter). Or perhaps sprinkeled on spaghetti, or another pasta dish.

Anything apart from that is just disgusting.

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Old 18th August 2004, 10:44   #21
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Kill your mouse, YOU need the cheese more than it does.

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Old 18th August 2004, 10:47   #22
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I find it hard to kill any life form smaller than myself, I'd have no problem with humans as most of them are arseholes, but there you go

Next questions..

Is Swiss cheese Cheese with holes in it, or a set of holes with Cheese around it ?
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Old 18th August 2004, 10:52   #23
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Without the cheese, it wouldn't be cheese.
Without the holes it wouldn't be swiss.

You need both the cheese AND the holes for it to be swiss cheese.

However, in the development of the swss cheese, the cheese was there first, and the holes developed as part of the cheese making process.

Therefore, swiss cheese is cheese with holes in it.

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Old 18th August 2004, 10:56   #24
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How many Dairylea Dunkers laid end to end would be needed to form a track from lands end to john o'groats?
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Old 18th August 2004, 11:03   #25
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(your mother) your average Dairylea dunker is 12cm long.

Lands end to john o'groats is 1600km, therefore you'd need approx 13.3 million dunkers.

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Old 18th August 2004, 11:05   #26
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where does the phrase "say cheese" come from?

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Old 18th August 2004, 11:06   #27
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Over 22 million according to the kraft foods web site.
http://www.kraftfoods.co.uk/dairylea/facts.htm

/can't believe I looked that up...

next question, I've just wined and dined the latest in a long line of potential mates, what cheese would I be best serving up with the after dinner coffee to ensure I reach the Sixtynined stage of the evening?
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Old 18th August 2004, 11:09   #28
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CraigF: Your mother.

Jones: Camembert. Also, that means I was wrong about my 12cm figure, kraft use a value closer to 7.2 cm.

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Old 18th August 2004, 11:13   #29
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Why is it that if I eat Cheese before going to sleep I have the most funky, vivid far out dreams, when I don't eat cheese I don't, so what is it in Cheese that disturbs and enhances my brain activity while in the land of nod?
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Old 18th August 2004, 11:35   #30
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Thats because cheese is fatty and hard to digest. This makes the digestion system, and thus your sleep uncomfortable, stimulating the brain.

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Old 18th August 2004, 11:40   #31
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Ok, last one for now..

I'm off for lunch in a minute, all this talk of cheese has left me craving that congealed milky goodness.

Should I have..

Plain Cheese Sarnie
Cheese Salad Sarnie
Cheese and HP Brown sauce Sarnie.
Warm Bacon & Brie with Salad Sarnie
Italian Salami & Edam Sarnie, with a dash of mayo..

Choices choices, guide me oh cheese guru...
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Old 18th August 2004, 11:41   #32
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Bacon and brie, no salad.

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Old 18th August 2004, 11:42   #33
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Will, what's your favroite kind of cheese?
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Old 18th August 2004, 11:47   #34
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Quote:
Originally posted by beanboy89
Will, what's your favroite kind of cheese?
Reblochon, from the savoy region of the alps. Especailly as part of a tartiflette. Also, I enjoy a good raclette.

mmm.

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Old 18th August 2004, 12:04   #35
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Double Glouscestershire, why is it "Double"?
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Old 18th August 2004, 12:12   #36
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Double Gloucester is crafted using a mixture of morning and evening milk. Hence the name.

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Old 18th August 2004, 12:13   #37
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Does red leiceter really come from leiceter?
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Old 18th August 2004, 12:17   #38
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If its genuine, yes

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Old 18th August 2004, 16:52   #39
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Do you like brie cheese?

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Old 18th August 2004, 17:00   #40
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Yes.

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