Old 18th December 2004, 11:03   #1
mysterious_w
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My Dad farted on my face.

Generally, we are a pretty loose family when it comes to rear-bound wind. Many of our family joy comes in letting of a good one while washing the pots.

But my dad took it too far.

Last night, sitting at home, happily watching TV, when my Dad walks up, sticks his arse right in my face and:

phrrrrrrrrrrrrrttttttttt.

Too far dad, too far. I am now plotting my revenge.




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Old 18th December 2004, 11:04   #2
missyob
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I always thought you had problems hon, now I know why

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Old 18th December 2004, 11:29   #3
Raz
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You actually felt the need to come tell us all that? Wow.

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Old 18th December 2004, 11:56   #4
mysterious_w
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The man in the white coat said that the pretty sweeties and pointy needles I take mean I have no sense of shame.




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Old 18th December 2004, 12:05   #5
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this thread rules
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Old 18th December 2004, 12:54   #6
nybergh
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I've sort of been there and done everything described in this thread.... I'm lactose intolerant
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Old 18th December 2004, 13:18   #7
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I sat on my brother's face and farted once. I think it's the most disgusting thing I've ever done.
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Old 18th December 2004, 14:01   #8
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I fart in your general direction

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 18th December 2004, 16:17   #9
ShyShy
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My brother used to fart on my face as kids. And flick his boogers at me.

But, oh how I finally got my revenge...
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Old 18th December 2004, 19:04   #10
ElChevelle
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I farted in someone's face once.
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Old 18th December 2004, 19:08   #11
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once, me and my family were at a target and my dad farted and my sister sniffed at his butt. it was funny.

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Old 18th December 2004, 19:17   #12
ElChevelle
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You know what's funny is that when someone farts, the very first thing other's do is smell it.......REGARDLESS.
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Old 18th December 2004, 19:18   #13
mark
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i feel the need to make my presence known in this thread, but have nothing to contribute.


anyone else sniff their own farts?
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Old 18th December 2004, 19:20   #14
deeder7001
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i don't. i've heard that my farts can be pretty bad.

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Old 18th December 2004, 19:21   #15
ElChevelle
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I sniff.
The sense of smell needs to be traumatized just like all other senses.
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Old 18th December 2004, 20:29   #16
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I have to find out if my fart will be lethal to another...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 18th December 2004, 20:52   #17
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Lock your dad in a non-ventalated room with a Gasey Dog.
That'll teach him.


elevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladyelevatorladylevitateme
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Old 18th December 2004, 22:04   #18
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My dad always had me do this
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Old 18th December 2004, 22:07   #19
ElChevelle
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This dad has his son pull his whole hand for that special Nagasaki blast.
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Old 18th December 2004, 22:14   #20
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Old 18th December 2004, 23:46   #21
Bilbo Baggins
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I always think it would be funny if you farted on someone, and accidentally follow through.
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Old 18th December 2004, 23:56   #22
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some of my friends were planning on wetting themselves at a video store once. never did go through with that though, didn't want to have the car smell like pee.

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Old 19th December 2004, 00:11   #23
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Ever try farting out a Christmas song?

This is a sig of some nature.

Last edited by Psythik; 19th December 2004 at 00:32.
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Old 19th December 2004, 00:21   #24
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I used to have a kitten named baby when I was 14. All the time, I would fart in her face. My grandma would tell me how mean that was.

One day I was sitting there watching TV with my grandma. My kitten baby starts running around the house from kitten spurts. She ran left in front of me, then right, then she ran right up on my chest, turned around, let out a stinker and ran off. My grandma and I were laughing so hard we nearly cried.
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Old 19th December 2004, 00:33   #25
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LOL, good story, t0qer.

This is a sig of some nature.
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Old 19th December 2004, 01:21   #26
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"wet or dry...."

most people dont know what to say

i am not normal, no really.
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Old 19th December 2004, 02:12   #27
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Quote:
Originally posted by t0qer
I used to have a kitten named baby when I was 14. All the time, I would fart in her face. My grandma would tell me how mean that was.

One day I was sitting there watching TV with my grandma. My kitten baby starts running around the house from kitten spurts. She ran left in front of me, then right, then she ran right up on my chest, turned around, let out a stinker and ran off. My grandma and I were laughing so hard we nearly cried.
An instance strikingly similar to this one made me swear off mind altering drugs once and for all.
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Old 19th December 2004, 03:35   #28
missyob
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Quote:
Originally posted by papadoc
My dad always had me do this
That was tooooooooooo funny. My grandfather did the same thing to me

~ Missy
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Old 19th December 2004, 03:46   #29
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LOL was it yokozuna style or was there distance?
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Old 19th December 2004, 04:48   #30
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just do a kamikaze on him

i am not normal, no really.
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Old 19th December 2004, 05:31   #31
squakMix
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Re: My Dad farted on my face.

Quote:
Originally posted by mysterious_w

Too far dad, too far. I am now plotting my revenge.
shit in his mouth while he sleeps.



That'l teach him
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Old 19th December 2004, 05:36   #32
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A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away, I was learning the way of the force. In the process of falling asleep while pretending to be studing, another recruit took it upon himself to teach me the way of the said force. Fortunately I opened my eyes just in time to see a dropped pants and managed to avoid the oncoming onslaught. Unfortunately the book I placed in from of me ended up being contaminated by the dark side. (Yes folks it was quite nasty, especially since he had to clean the book that was shat on.)

I am so important I feel the need to let it be known like a liberal discovering the internets for the first time. Uh hur hur hur. I also wash myself with a rag on a stick.
Realitybites
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Old 19th December 2004, 05:37   #33
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What the fuck!?
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Old 19th December 2004, 08:26   #34
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My sister pissed me off once so I ate a lot of chilli with hot sauce and lots of orange juice and aspargus. Then I pinned her sat on her face and let it fly. She couldn't get off the floor. I don't remember what she did to piss me off though.

I'm Back?
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Old 19th December 2004, 16:17   #35
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very nice discussion %)
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Old 19th December 2004, 16:20   #36
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The rest of the civil world would cower in jealousy if they saw us...

"I just want to lie in my own crusty filth, eating rancid egg sandwiches, until some unfortunate paramedic has to blow down my door to find my bloated and pasty corpse wedged between the nightstand and mattress stained with Bengay and Robitussin DM." - Greg Gutfeld on sex and seniors
"Syphilis does not stay in Vegas. Debt collectors do not stay in Vegas. Dead hookers stay in Vegas, but the guilt stays with you forever." - Bill Schultz
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Old 19th December 2004, 18:13   #37
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Farting is a very important sign of affection in my girlfriend's direct family.
Somehow the tradition has managed to penetrate into our own house and sometimes I wonder why I still bother waking up in the morning.

EDITED IN:
The worst of it all is that I felt the need to post it in this thread.


"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." - Jack Nicholson
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Old 20th December 2004, 01:00   #38
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please lock this thread??? its getting utterly freakie and people are showing there insane mental problems... (im scared)

i am not normal, no really.
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Old 20th December 2004, 01:15   #39
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Quote:
please lock this thread??? its getting utterly freakie and people are showing there insane mental problems... (im scared)
I dont see a sock, so can someone help me unzip my fly for him? Its stuck..

I love the poop and fart threads, especially the ones where everyone shares thier shitting the pants storys.
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Old 20th December 2004, 01:43   #40
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...im scaredest

i am not normal, no really.
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